Flat Earth Songs

by Robert Parker

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My 2016 RPM Challenge submission. Partly about politicians, partly about people who honestly believe the Earth is flat (and how wrong they are), and partly about alligators.


released February 29, 2016

All songs written, recorded, and performed by me between 2/1/16 and 2/29/16. Thanks for the extra day, leap year!



all rights reserved


Robert Parker Methuen, Massachusetts

This is what happens when a former music major gets a job and quits his band. He gets his musical ya-ya's out by making records at home.

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Track Name: Feels Like Something's Coming
Feels like somethings coming
Feels like something new
Feels like a new day dawning
Feels like something good
Track Name: Flat Earth Society Blues

at the limit
of what i see
at the limit
its beyond me

Verse 1:

Evidence is suspect
I need more proof
thousand years of progress
is just a giant spoof

Verse 2:

columbus sailed the ocean
lied to everyone
lunatic in motion
see the damage done


I climb to the highest peak
It still looks straight to me
(Earth still feels flat to me)

Verse 3:

if they try to tell you
that the facts are clear
nothing that you can do
but ignore their fear

Other Bridge:

Don’t fall for it
Don’t believe the lies
Track Name: The Flat Earth Rebuttal

You’re so small
You can’t see it all
You’re so small
You can’t take the fall

Earth so big
You can’t comprehend
Earth so big
You can’t see the end

Verse 1:

You say that you can see
far enough away
You think you’re big enough
To see all the way

Verse 2:

You think you’re high enough
You should see the curve
You climb the highest high
still you can’t observe


You’re wrong
So wrong

Wah Bridge:

So Small

Quiet Section:

How can you
Look at the world
Through the eyes
of such backward minds
Track Name: No Skin Off My Back, Bro

You can believe what you want to believe
It doesn’t matter to me
You can think what you want to think
It makes no difference to me

Verse 1:

I’m not impressed
With your irrational mind
might I suggest
you waste someone else’s time

Verse 2:

You’ve got the news
Nobody wants to hear
You found a way
To make the kill of the year


Not this time

Middle 8:

I think you’re crazy
But I still don’t care
Your logic’s hazy
And I still don’t care

Other bridge:

And another thing

Verse 3:

I’m not impressed
With anything that you say
You might have guessed
I prefer it this way
Track Name: Too Small to See It

Its so obvious
anyone can see
Its so obvious
anyone can see
Open your eyes for me
and you will agree

Verse 1:

Tell you something you don’t know
Have a bit of the truth
Tell you something you don’t know
Have a bit of the truth
I can see for ever now
I can show you how

Verse 2:

climbing higher and higher
and you still don’t see
climbing higher and higher
and you still don’t see
Need to get higher still
for you to take this pill

Quiet Verse:

What I’m trying to tell you
Is that you’re very small
What I’m trying to tell you
Is that you’re very small
The world around you is so big
you’re mind will never know
Track Name: Did I Offend You?

It looks like I offended you
That wasn’t what I set out to do
but when we get down to it
I don’t really care

Just doesn’t matter
Just don’t care

I don’t care at all
I just don’t care

verse 1

you say
I’ve got it wrong
you say
you knew all along
you know
the way it works
you know
all the right words

Verse 2

If you think
that I care at all
If you think
that I’m being small
I think
you waste my time
I think
that’s well and fine


I say what I feel
I say what I mean
If you Don’t like it
Don’t read it
Track Name: It's Not Funny Anymore

Its not funny anymore
The joke is on us all
Its not funny anymore
Get ready for the fall

Its not funny anymore
Can’t we call it quits
It’s not funny anymore
enough with hateful glitz

Verse 1:

Hatefulness, fear and greed
Is that what we stand for
All for one and none for all
You answer that call

Verse 2:

Us vs them, Me against you
We’ve Seen this all before
Divide conquer alienate
hear them cheer for more


Plays well in the sticks
Looks good on TV
Terrify the hicks
Make them love me
Track Name: Feeling It
They say that you can’t win
They say that there’s no chance
They say that it’s a lost cause
They say you can’t advance

verse 1

radical ideas
against the status quo
change the way we do things
the system moves too slow

verse 2

they’re too big to fail
they will put up a fight
stand against the mainstream
stand for what’s right

middle 8

there’s always hope for the underdog
There’s always room for new ways
there’s always people who can go that far
who cares what others say
Track Name: Wendy's New Gator
Though it seems odd to you
It seemed like the thing to do
It makes perfect sense to me
Nothing in life is free

Verse 1:

I stopped at the drive through
On my way home from work
I left them a three foot tip
And they call me a jerk

Three feet from nose to tail
With teeth to spare

Verse 2:

I paid them a fair price
but I’m feeling betrayed
The cops came to get me
and they put me away

razor sharp jaws of steel
its a killing machine


Wendy has a brand new gator

Track Name: If You're Lucky
You’ll never be
As scared as we were
You’ll never feel
that kind of fear

You’ll never know
How close you can come
If you’re lucky
You’ll never feel this way

Verse 1:

Look at him lie there
Helpless as can be
How did he get here
What does it all mean

Verse 2:

What are they saying
I don’t understand this
Everything’s crazy
So much to deal with


He pulled through
its all right now
Life has changed
But it’s okay

think back to
how it was for you
I don’t know
what I would do

It could have been worse
I keep telling myself
As bad as it was
it’s all right now

He gets to go home
He gets to go on
Maybe it’s us
The lucky ones